84 Interesting and Funny Quotes About Massage

Massage Quotes

Massage is great and the benefits are more than relaxation. At the first touch during a massage, your heart rate slows down and the blood pressure lowers. The stress hormone lowers too. This leaves your body in a state of bliss and things get much better with the rise of the feel-good hormones like endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin.

Life is better when your body does not ache and you are feeling healthy. The ability to rest and relax is a crucial part of our lives. A massage comes with numerous health benefits including relief from body pain, stress release, improvement in sleeping, and general relaxation among others.

We demand so much from our bodies at work, but the truth is that even our most entertaining activities can cause muscle pain. The best way to tackle this is by going for regular massages. A massage will effectively reduce soreness and relieve muscle pain. Regardless of the cause of your physical and mental stress, a massage will do wonders for you. The massage quotes below will show you the reasons you should schedule your massage session as soon as possible.

Our Favorite Quotes about Massage

1. “I don’t fear death because I don’t fear anything I don’t understand. When I start to think about it, I order a massage and it goes away.”– Hedy Lamarr

2. “Massage therapy has been shown to relieve depression, especially in people who have chronic fatigue syndrome; other studies also suggest benefit for other populations.”– Andrew Weil

3. “There are other ways I think of myself as spoiling myself … I … get a massage once a week. Other people can, I didn’t used to, and I can now.”– Steve Ballmer

4. “Never let stress shape your strategy. Most women think better after a brisk walk, a light meal, a massage and a nap.”– Barbara Taylor Bradford

5.” In this hectic life, we have no time to take care of ourselves, hence massage is needed for rejuvenation and stress reduction. A lot of people are looking for quick fixes: like, they are taking medications, and they are doing other things which are not healthy. But massage is very holistic and natural.”– Nargis Fakhri

6. “I should prefer to have a politician who regularly went to a massage parlour than one who promised a laptop computer for every teacher.”– A.N. Wilson

7. “Unfair and deceptive business practices have been illegal in most states for decades. Yet traffickers routinely use what appear to be legitimate businesses – massage parlors, bars, nail salons – as fronts for their illegal exploitation. It’s the ultimate business scam.”– Josh Hawley

8.” I’m the type of woman you might say is too good. I’ll massage a man’s feet, have dinner cooked when he gets home. But once they leave, the door is closed, and the locks are changed.”– Angie Stone

9. “I’ve realized that the most important thing I can do to look good is just treat myself well, whether it’s getting a nice, long massage or just lying low and not going out every single night.”– Kim Cattrall

10. “When I was living in Los Angeles, I always booked a moisturizing milk-and-honey massage the day before flying to Spain. It was heaven – I never got dry plane skin or felt stiff from sitting in one position.”– Carolina Herrera

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11. “I always think I look better after a yoga class. It’s the same as a massage. We look so amazing after a massage because we’re relaxed.”– Andie MacDowell

12. ” If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor.”– Christiaan Barnard

13. “The thought of a spa treatment is lovely, but I’d be lying there having a massage and worrying about how much I had to do. I’m not very good at relaxing! “– Louise Nurding

14. “One of my personal indulgences is getting a weekly massage – it helps to re-align my body. I usually feel so much less tense after I’ve gotten rid of some knots in my shoulders and back.”– Noureen DeWulf

15. “Some days you feel like you’ve had the greatest ego massage, then the next day you’ve been trampled on.”–Judy Woodruff

16. “Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack. We give it orders which make no sense.”– Henry Miller

17. “A car can massage organs which no masseur can reach. It is the one remedy for the disorders of the great sympathetic nervous system.”– Jean Cocteau

18. “Exercise stimulates your circulation, massages your internal organs, stretches and strengthens your muscles, and energizes you. Exercise is also a great way to discharge tension, work through emotional blocks, release anger, and gain self-esteem.”– Ellen Bass

19. “I like to have a massage therapist come to my house, get a massage, take a bath, go to bed. That’s a perfect night alone for me.”– Stacy Keibler

20. “I’m not worried about what part of their life they needed to massage in order to achieve something that I get to experience as transcendent. Because that’s the point of literature, I think: to connect.”– John D’Agata

21. “My smile has been my ticket to the world. Smiling releases the same feel-good hormones you get jogging. Caring for your lips and gums is important. I brush my teeth morning and night, alternating toothpaste brands. In addition to flossing, I use a Water Pik to massage my gums and remove food particles.”– Christie Brinkley

22. “At the age of 19, the day after I graduated high school, I moved to a place where it snowed, and I became a massage therapist. With this job, all I needed were my hands and my massage table by my side and I could go anywhere. For the first time in my life, I felt free, independent, and completely in control of my life.”– Amy Purdy

23. “It feels like getting a back massage from the Grim Reaper: one must get comfortable with the most horrifying things in the world.”– Gerald R. Ford

24. “My purpose as an artist is to heal the divided feminine in our culture. Well, okay wait, that sounds incredibly cheesy and like something a massage therapist might do at Esalen.”– Jill Soloway

25. “No one can ever heap enough insults upon me to suit my taste. I think we all really thrive on hostility, because it’s the most intense kind of massage the ego can undergo. Other people’s indifference is the only horror.”– Paul Bowles

26. “Massage is the only form of physical pleasure to which nature forgot to attach consequences.”– Robert Breault

27. “Yes – it’s the same in any other work – the more you massage your thinking the more capable I believe you are of expanding how you go about things and learning.”– Siobhan Davies

28. “I once stayed at a Ritz in D.C., paid for by a client, and when I asked to change rooms because mine smelled of smoke, the hotel immediately found me a better room, then paid for my dinner and drinks and even threw in a free massage to compensate me for the very minor inconvenience.”– Shawn Achor

29. “The last really expensive trip we took was so uncomfortable. It’s so lazy. I want somebody to give me a great $30 massage as opposed to a bad $265 massage.”– Josh Brolin

30. “If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.”– Wanda Sykes

31. “I love to get a massage but I’m quite a baby with it. I don’t like them too hard or anyone walking on me or anything. When it’s good, it’s the best thing ever. When it’s bad, it’s an hour of absolute agony.”– Lara Stone

32. “Nothing beats a really rough massage. I really hate a man who goes all limp when he’s doing a massage. Who needs a soft massage? Just get in there and rub me hard or don’t bother.”– Charisma Carpenter

33. “When I was 17, I had my first proper girlfriend, and on Valentine’s Day, I painted a canvas of her, bought her a massage, put flowers on the stairs, and ran a bath.”– Tom Cullen

34. “Painters should shut up and paint and when we stop painting we should dance or have sex or get a massage or take a shower and we shouldn’t be talking about painting.”– Chris Martin

35. “You dig deep beyond those scars and find that soft tissue again, and you massage and nurture it and bring it to life, little by little, through serving yourself well. I did it through hikes and vitamins and therapy and prayer and good friends.”– Katy Perry

35. “I love a massage. I’d go every day if I could. I don’t need to be wrapped in herbs like a salmon fillet, but I do love a massage.”– Jason Bateman

36. “I do work too hard sometimes, but my mom is such an inspiration. She tells me to ‘chill out’ and not take things so seriously. She will say: ‘Go and have a massage.”– Josh Peck

37. “After a grueling leg workout nothing feels better than a slow, deep massage on your quads.”– Robert Cheeke

38. “Every night my wife used to give me a foot massage. And my face would smell weird afterwards, but…”– Emo Philips

39. “I’m really old-fashioned. An Epsom salt bath, that’s genuinely better than any massage.”– Emilia Clarke

40. “That comes from most people having an American film model in their heads which is nothing but a total illusionary masturbatory massage.”– Peter Greenaway

41. “A massage is just like a movie, really relaxing and a total escape, except in a massage you’re the star. And you don’t miss anything by falling asleep!”– Elizabeth Jane Howard

42. “Massage has few if any side-effects, is cost-effective, produces at least short-term benefits, and since people typically enjoy massage, they tend to be compliant about attending sessions.”– Sandy Fitz

43. “Massage like the sense of touch has always been a constant in the background, its practice uninterrupted during the passing of the centuries.”– Dr. Nicholas J. Vardaxis

44. “A lot of people are looking for quick fixes: like, they are taking medications, and they are doing other things which are not healthy. But massage is very holistic and natural.”– Nargis Fakhri

45. “Each State has its own health insurance mandates, and some of them are good, but there are about 1,800 of them all across the Nation, including provisions for acupuncturists, massage therapists, and hair replacements.”– Timothy Murphy

46. “I’ve never missed a flight. And I don’t see any reason in cutting it close because airports are pleasurable for me: You can go to the restaurant, get a massage, browse books, sit at a bar, check emails.”– Geoffrey Zakarian

47. “I graduated with a degree in musical theater and no skill in anything else to make money; I wish I had gotten a massage therapy kit or something where I could have made my own money.”– Kathleen Rose Perkins

48. “When I was living in Los Angeles, I always booked a moisturizing milk-and-honey massage the day before flying to Spain. It was heaven – I never got dry plane skin or felt stiff from sitting in one position.”– Carolina Herrera

49. “There are some things in life where it’s better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them.”– Al Michaels

50. “For many people, managing pain involves using prescription medicine in combination with complementary techniques like physical therapy, acupuncture, yoga and massage. I appreciate this because I truly believe medical care should address the person as a whole & their mind, body, and spirit.”– Naomi Judd

51. “Aromatherapy without massage is like an orchestra without a conductor.”– Rober Tisserand

52. “Find a way to get a full-body massage every day.”– S. Jay Olshansky

53. “I try to get away from the pits as quickly as I can. I speak to my engineer when I get out of the car. Usually, there’s some press to do, then I will go off and have a shower and get my dry, clean overalls and clothing on. I’ll have a massage, stretch, and something to eat. I don’t sleep, but I try to close my eyes for a while.”– Allan McNish

54. “I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.”– Maya Angelou

55. “When you touch – don’t take. Touch people only when you are giving something – reassurance, support, encouragement, whatever.”– Ken Blanchard

56. “Massage therapy has been shown to relieve depression, especially in people who have chronic fatigue syndrome; other studies also suggest benefit for other populations.”– Andrew Weil

57. “If you see what you do each day as your way of loving the world and helping it heal, then life gets to be a lot different. The difference between burning up and burning out is the difference between loving what you are doing and not loving it.”– Bernie Siegel

58. “The human body has been designed to resist an infinite number of changes and attacks brought about by its environment. The secret of good health lies in successful adjustment to changing stresses on the body.”– Harry Johnson

59. “I’ve realized that the most important thing I can do to look good is just treat myself well, whether it’s getting a nice, long massage or just lying low and not going out every single night.”– Kim Cattrall

60. “I like a deep sports massage – a casual beating up. I try to get them whenever I can, usually more if I’m getting in shape for a role.”– Chris Pine

61. “I love pampering myself, so going for a massage or getting a mani-pedi makes me feel instantly better. When my nails are done I feel so much better – it’s the little things that make me so happy, and you literally feel polished.”– Jessica Lowndes

62. “I like a semi-stressful massage – one where I can really feel something being worked out.”– Emily Weiss

63. “I don’t fear death because I don’t fear anything I don’t understand. When I start to think about it, I order a massage and it goes away.”– Hedy Lamarr

64. “Airline glamour never promised anything as mundane as elbow room, much less a flat bed, a massage, or an arugula salad. It promised a better world. Service and dress reflected the more formal era, but no one expected air travel to be comfortable. It was amazing just to have hot food above the clouds”– Virginia Postrel

65. “At the age of 19, the day after I graduated high school, I moved to a place where it snowed, and I became a massage therapist. With this job, all I needed were my hands and my massage table by my side and I could go anywhere. For the first time in my life, I felt free, independent, and completely in control of my life.”– Amy Purdy

66. “It’s different for every song. But for ‘Say Something,’ I think it was Chad who had an idea on guitar, and I had an idea on piano for different songs, and we just married them together. We bounce things off each other constantly and kind of massage all these ideas into a three and a half minute pop song.”– Ian Axel

67. “I used to be able to practice, get a massage, have something to eat and feel ready for the rest of the day.”– Robin Soderling

68. “I get massages almost daily. Sometimes I fall asleep during the massage, but it’s very important to have deep-tissue massages because that type recovers muscles best.”– Ana Ivanovic

69. “Anyone wishing to study medicine must master the art of massage.”– Hippocrates

70. “I take a massage each week. This isn’t an indulgence; it’s an investment in your full creative expression/productivity/passion and sustained good health.”– Robin S.Sharma

71. “I have a massage when I want to relax. I love being pampered. I love island massages when you’re outside in the fresh air.”– Angie Stone

72. “If I have the opportunity, a massage or facial is a great way to take a little ‘me time.”– Tess Holiday

73. “I count on chiropractic sessions to keep my body aligned. Standing for hours can impact my posture, and that can throw the rest of my body out of whack. Acupuncture helps me relax and release stress. I am also very into massage to help release tension in my back, neck, and shoulders.”– Giada De Laurentiis

74. “The human body was designed to walk, run or stop; it wasn’t built for coasting.’– Cullen Hightower

75. “Anybody who is anybody seems to be getting a lift – by plastic surgery these days. It’s the new world wide craze that combines the satisfactions of psychoanalysis, massage, and a trip to the beauty salon.”– Eugenia Sheppard

76. “I love a massage and a bath. I don’t drink – I’ll have a sip, but I’ve never been drunk – and I don’t smoke. I envy people who have those releases. They just have a drink or a cigarette, and they feel better. I have to brave it through the whole day on my own.”– Jennifer Lopez

77. “Asking Senator Fulbright’s advice on foreign policy is like asking the Boston Strangler to massage your neck.”– Spiro T. Agnew

78. “I like to have a massage therapist come to my house, get a massage, take a bath, go to bed. That’s a perfect night alone for me.”– Stacy Keibler

79. “Instant access to anything is the future. So if you need a tutor or a baby sitter or a massage or any service, it’s going to be instantly available, 24 hours a day, through your phone, with one click.”– Jason Calacanis

80. “For $60, I once bought a neck massage at a ‘massage parlor’ that advertised in ‘The Washington Post.”– Gene Weingarten

81. “Normally, I rely heavily on my director to massage me out of my actor comfort zones.”– Vera Farmiga

82. “When I was 17, I had my first proper girlfriend, and on Valentine’s Day, I painted a canvas of her, bought her a massage, put flowers on the stairs, and ran a bath.”– Tom Cullen

83. “Want to try it?” Dad offered, patting the arm of the chair. “Fifteen different kinds of massage. It analyzes your back muscles and makes recommendations. It also grabs and stretches the thigh and calf muscles.” “No, thanks. I prefer my furniture to keep its hands to itself.”– Lisa Kleypas

84. “If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.”– Wanda Sykes

Video: Amazing Massage Benefits

Learn more about the amazing benefits of massage, including the most common myth!

Summary

There are different types of massages and you can always go for one that best suits your needs. A massage stimulates the soft tissues of your body thus releasing toxins through your lymphatic systems and blood.

The above quotes are the perfect massage quotes that clearly enlighten you on the importance of a massage. Prioritizing your body and peace of mind is the perfect way to check on yourself in this crazy world.

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