Smokey and The Bandit Quotes

77 Funny Quotes From Smokey And The Bandit

Smokey and the Bandit hit the big screen in 1977 and was a huge hit. Featuring an all star cast with stars like Jackie Gleason and Burt Reynolds,  this movie quickly became a must watch for comedy fans and outlaw movie viewers alike. The movie may be viewed as not politically correct by today’s standards but, for the time period it was made in, the movie was viewed as spot on. The original movie became such a success that they even made part 2 and part 3.

The fans of the first movie couldn’t wait for part two an later the third part for more off the cuff humor and comedy. Regardless of how you feel about the movies and the humor in them, these films have left us with some pretty funny moments and some great quotes. Here are several quotes from Smokey and the Bandit, 1,2 and 3. If you haven’t seen the movies or even if you have, the quotes are pretty cool. We hope you enjoy them as much as we do.

Smokey and the Bandit Quotes

1. “You must be in a h*ll of a hurry, huh, Sheriff? ” – Bandit

2. “What the h*ll is the world coming to?” – Buford T. Justice

3.”You bet your a** on that boy.” -Buford T. Justice

4.”Nobody’s chasin’ me boy!” – Buford T. Justice

5. “You chasin’ someone Sheriff? Somebody chasin’ you? – Bandit

6.” That’s an attention-getter.” – Buford T. Justice

7. “There’s no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I’m gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!”- Buford T. Justice

8. “My hat blew off, daddy” – Junior

9. “I hope your Godd*mn head was in it” – Buford T. Justice.

10. “What did he say?” – Junior

11.”The fact that you are a sheriff is not germane to the situation.” – Sheriff Branford

12.”Give me a diablo sandwich, a Dr. Pepper, and make it quick, I’m in a god-d*mn hurry.” – Buford T. Justice

13.’I saw that you sombi*ch! You did that on purpose! You’re going away til you’re grey! I got the evidence!” – Buford T. Justice

 

14. “Shut up! one S**t at a time!” – Buford T. Justice

15. “This happens every time one of these floozies starts p**tagangin’ around with those show folk f*gs.” – Buford T. Justice

16.” If they’d a creamated that sum-b**ch, I could be kickin’ that Mr. Bandit’s a** aroud the moon by now.” – Buford T. Justice

17. “D*mn, he had a lot of friends, didn’t he?” – Junior

18. “Before I tell you where I am, Sheriff, there’s just one thing I wanna say. You must be part coon dog, ’cause I’ve been chased by the best of them, and son, you make ’em look like they’re all runnin’ in slow motion. I just wanna say that.” – Bandit

19. “Well what’s your handle son, and what’s your twenty?” – Bandit

20. “My handle’s Smokey Bear and I’m tail grabbin yo A88 right now! – Buford T. Justice

21. “What we’re dealing with here is a complete lack of respect for the law.” – Buford T. Justice

22. “I AM Sheriff Branford.” – Sheriff Branford

23.”Ooo, Hee-Hee. For some reason or another, you sounded a little taller on radio, hee-hee.” – Buford T. Justice

24. “Well, talk to me good buddy.” – Bandit

25. “You got trouble comin…” – Buford T. Justice

26.”Hushpuppies, Daddy!” – Junior

27.”Dumb sumb*tch” – Buford T. Justice

28.”Did you see that? They went right through our roadblock.” – Policeman

29. “I don’t care if your name is Broderick Crawford…” Patrolman

30. “If you’re gonna hang out in places like this, wear a badge on your didey” – Buford T.Justice

31.”But daddy…” -Junior

32. “Do what I tell you! You pile of monkey nuts!” – Buford T. Justice

33. ““If you ever embarrass me like that again I’m gonna get an ax, and you’re never gonna have to open your fly again.” – Buford T. Justice

34. “As you can see, Bandit, I’ve got my piece in my hand.” Buford T. Justice

34. “You’ve got your what in your hand?” – Bandit

35. “Don’t look at me.”-Cledus Snow

36. “She’s as strong as an ox.” – Bandit

37. “She is strong as an ox, now she has to get strong as an elephant.” – Doc

38. ” You sombi*ches couldn’t close an umbrella.” – Buford T. Justice

39. “Just keep your eye out for that Mr. Bandit b*st*rd!” – Buford T. Justice

40. “That is it for you! You have had it! You’re hooked! You’re a fame junkie! They should give you intravenous feedings of People magazine and National Enquirer headlines! And if you’re a real good boy, they’ll give you a Tonight Show enema!” – Carrie

41.”And if you weren’t so dumb, they’d put you on Cross-Wits!” – Carrie

42. “Junior! Why didn’t you have your gun loaded?” – Buford T.Justice

43. “When I put bullets in it, Daddy, it gets too heavy.” – Junior

44. “Duck, or you’re gonna be talkin’ out yo a$*!” – Buford T. Justice

45. “Oh, you can THINK about it… but don’t do it!” Buford T. Justice

46. “And don’t go home, and don’t go to eat, and don’t play with yourself. It wouldn’t look nice on my highway.” – Buford T. Justice

47. “Sheriff, do the letters F.O. mean anthing to you?” – Bandit

48. “Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s p*cker.”- Buford T. Justice

49. “Excuse me sir, but your a8$ is on fire. I bet you can’t wait to get back home to Canada and stick it in the snow.” – Bandit

50. “Daddy, I gotta pee pee” – Junior

51.”Son, you’ll always be my tick turd.” – Buford T. Justice

52. “Is it just me or are you slowing down?” – Dusty Trails

53.”Daddy, my face is all white.” Junior

54. “Well, put a little lipstick on, I’ll drop you off at a gay bar.” – Buford T. Justice

55. “Did you ever join the Klan, Daddy?” – Junior

56.”I’d like to kick your a&&.” – Little Enos

57. “You can’t kick that high, cricket crotch.” – Buford T. Justice

58. “I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. There is no way, no way that you could come from my loins. Soon as we get home, I’m gonna put a lump on your mama’s head.” – Buford T. Justice

59. “Retirement is cat sh*t.” – Buford T. Justice

60. “That’s a… figure of speech.” – The Real Bandit

61.“If you want to stay, Sheriff, you’ve got to take your clothes off.” “- Nudist Female

62. “I don’t even take my clothes off in front of my good wife, Wilhelmina.” – Buford T. Justice

63. “I’d rather have a dime” -Junior

64.”Hello, Buford. Well, you caught me with my pants down.” – The Real Bandit

65. “Who did it?” – Bandit

66.”I understand $400,000 and I would like to get my share of $400,000, but I ain’t gonna kill an elephant to get it.” – Cledus Snow

67. “We’re talking about $400,000, do you understand that? This is our last chance! $400,000!” – Bandit

68. “Oh no, Daddy, I ain’t never leaving’ home, that’s a promise.” – Junior

69. “Daddy, I like this place. All the ‘gators and snakes and stuff. Why don’t we move down here?” – Junior

70 “Don’t you ever, ever threaten yo’ daddy like that again!” – Buford T. Justice

71. “Cledus has a heart, he cares about something other than himself.” – Carrie

72. “Cledus, you’ve gotten taller.” – Bandit

73. “Yes, and you’ve gotten drunker. This place looks like a sh*thouse!” – Cledus Snow

74.“If Junior is able to get up in the morning, tie his shoelaces and take a pee, I’m not proud. I’m amazed.” – Buford T. Justice

75. “Daddy, look at that big ugly alligator!” – Junior

76. “That reminds me I gotta call your mama tonight.” – Buford T. Justice

77. Let’s face it, Sinatra sang “My Way” and you sang “Let’s Do Something Cheap and Superficial”. – Carrie

We hope these quotes made you smile and remember Smokey & The Bandit

While we can all agree the the storyline of these movies may seem far fetched and may never really happen, we can all picture it playing out as it did. That’s what makes a great story in the first place, the fact that so many things went haywire and all of the events that ensued as a result.

In closing, we can all agree that Smokey and the Bandit as well as Smokey and the Bandit parts 2 and part 3 have left us some great funny memories and some pretty amazing quotes that perhaps only people like Sally Fields, Burt Renyolds and Jackie Gleason could have pulled off. These movies and the quotes are funny and enjoyable for everyone who has seen the movie. We hope you have enjoyed these classic quotes.

 

 

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