The one thing that is universal in the human experience is that everyone has a family! Families are generally different with unique aspects, however, love is a common denominator to all. No matter how complicated your family is, you can’t live without them. The love of your family members is unconditional despite all shortcomings.
Sometimes our families are full of drama and frustration. Other times, they are full of love and support. Sometimes you need a good laugh when thinking about your family and a good boost for your mood.
In this article, we put together the best list we could find with the funniest quotes about families. Enjoy!
Funny Family Quotes
1. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.”–Erma Bombeck
2. “Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex’s new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate’s ex and any new mate that your new mate’s ex has acquired.”–Delia Ephron
3. “If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”–Thich Nhat Hanh
4. “There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues… are created, strengthened and maintained.’–Winston Churchill
5. “For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life’s list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors.”–Jeff Foxworthy
6. “Families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy. Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we’re related for better or for worse and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum.”–Rick Riordan
7. “Think of your family today and every day thereafter, don’t let the busy world of today keep you from showing how much you love and appreciate your family.”–Josiah
8. “You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”–Jerry Seinfeld
9. “In some families, please is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was sorry.”–Margaret Laurence
10. “Nothing is better than going home to family and eating good food and relaxing.”–Irina Shayk
11. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”–Mark Twain
12. “Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life.”–Lisa Weed
13. “Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.”–Evan Esar
14. “Teenagers, are you tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now. Move out, get a job, and pay your own bills–while you still know everything.”–John Hinde
15. “The family is the test of freedom; because the family is the only thing that the free man makes for himself and by himself.”–Gilbert K. Chesterton
16. “The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.”–Robert Frost
17. “In the family sandwich, the older people and the younger ones can recognize one another as the bread. Those in the middle are, for a time, the meat.”–Anna Quidlen
18. “Family life contributes immensely to an individual’s happiness. Only in a happy home life can complete contentment be found.”–Dorothea S. Koppliln
19. “My family is my life, and everything else comes second as far as what’s important to me.”–Michael Imperioli
20. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”–Bob Hope
21. “The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst.”–Marge Kennedy
22. “It’s all about the quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family.”–Philip Green
23. “Mother Nature is wonderful. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”–Eugene Bertin
24. “From the ages of 8-18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”–Jarod Kintz
25. “The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.”–Thomas Jefferson
26. “There’s nothing that makes you more insane than family. Or more happy. Or more exasperated. Or more… secure.”–Jim Butcher
27. “Stick to the basics, hold on to your family and friends – they will never go out of fashion.”–Niki Taylor
28. “There are only two things a child will share willingly—communicable diseases and his mother’s age.”–Benjamin Spock
29. “Family is a unique gift that needs to be appreciated and treasured, even when they’re driving you crazy. As much as they make you mad, interrupt you, annoy you, curse at you, try to control you, these are the people who know you the best and who love you.”–Jenna Morasca
30. ‘’Family is just accident…They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are.”–Marsha Norman
31. “That’s what people do who love you. They put their arms around you and love you when you’re not so lovable.”–Deb Caletti
32. “Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.”–Jerry Seinfeld
33. “When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching — they are your family.”–Jim Butcher
34. “Family and friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches.”–Wanda Hope Carter
35. “The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.”–Jean Kerr
36. “One of the things that binds us as a family is a shared sense of humor.”–Ralph Fiennes
37. “Spread love. Hug the people you care about and make sure they know that you care and appreciate them. Make it known to your friends and family that you love them.”–Germany Kent
38. “The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.’–Sam Levenson
39. “The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.”–Lee Iacocca
40. “Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.”–Earl Wilson
41. “Whether family life is physically harmful is still in dispute. The incidence of men who go down with a coronary upon learning that their teenage daughters are in the pudding club is indisputably higher among family men than among those who have never indulged; so is indigestion, backache, alcoholism, and going purple in the face when the bath is full of tights and knickers.”–Keith Waterhouse
42. “To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.”–Barbara Bush
43. “No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.”–Florida Scott-Maxwell
44. “Family life is too intimate to be preserved by the spirit of justice. It can be sustained by a spirit of love which goes beyond justice.”–Reinhold Niebuhr
45. “A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.”–Ogden Nash
46. “A man’s womenfolk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity.”–H. L. Mencken
47. “The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life’s essential unfairness.”–Nancy Mitford
48. “The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.”–Dodie Smith
49. “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.”–Desmond Tutu
50. ‘’Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”–Jim Bishop
51. “If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange. It’s a circle of sections, held together but separable – each segment distinct.”–Letty Cottin Pogrebin
52. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”–George Burns
53. “When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”–George Bernard Shaw
54. “Having a big family around is a good way to make sure there will always be someone to answer the phone – and forget the message.”–Unknown
55. “In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.”–Eva Burrows
56. “The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out his nose.”–Garrison Keillor
57. “When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.”–Emo Phillips
58. “Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.”–Erma Bombeck
59. “Sometimes it’s heartbreaking to see your siblings as the people they’ve become. Maybe that’s why we all stay away from each other as a matter of course.”–Jonathan Tropper
60. “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”–Cary Grant
Related: If you have an unsupportive family, be sure to see our Toxic Family Quotes
Conclusion
A family is a unit that offers you, unconditional love, no matter how rough situations tend to be. You need to view your family from a wide perspective, could it be caring, refreshing, amusing, or new. The connectedness of your family gives each family member the courage to continue to hold on to each other despite the ups and downs.
Therefore, family quotes with humor assist you to boost your attitude positively. Every member of your family deserves to keep his or her smile and it doesn’t matter what it takes to offer appreciation.
Related: Heartwarming quotes about granddaughters
I’m Alice Judy and AnQuotes is a fun hobby for me. We know that everyone loves a great quote and our mission here is simple – to be the best and most interesting quote site in the world! If you have quotes you would like us to cover, please contact us.
