40 Funny Graduation Quotes

Graduation is a great time in one’s life, but it can also be a scary time. You are now an adult. It is time to go out and spread your wings. Find your way and your place in the world. Go off to college, the military, or start your career. You are excited, but at the same time, you are scared to death. Scared to leave the safety of your parent’s home, scared to leave all of your friends behind, and uncertain of the new ventures ahead.

You have so many amazing things going on during your senior year in high school; homecoming, prom, graduation, acceptance (and rejection) letters, and much more. Sometimes it is better to joke about becoming an adult. Add a little humor to a scary and stressful situation. You have to laugh now and then in life. You can not always be serious. If you laugh, joke, and have a good time; then it relieves the frustration and stress of dealing with everyday life, whether in high school, college, or already out in the real world.

Funny Graduation Quotes

1. “Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.”

– Oscar Wilde

2. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success.” – Robert Orben

3. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” – Dr. Seuss

4. “It is indeed ironic that we spend our school days yearning to graduate and our remaining days waxing nostalgic about our school days.” – Isabel Waxman

5. “People will frighten you about a graduation….They use words you don’t hear often… ‘And we wish you Godspeed.’ It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices.” – Bill Cosby

6. “Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional.” – Bob Bickford

7. “The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.”

– Russell Green

8. “There is a good reason they call these ceremonies ‘commencement exercises. Graduation is not the end; it’s the beginning.”

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– Orrin Hatch

9. “The unfortunate yet truly exciting thing about your life is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.” – Jon Stewart

10. “If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A Clark

11. “You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the numbers of times you get back up.” – Andy Sorkin

12. “You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that’s wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that’s worse. This is a day.” – Andy Samberg

13. “My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives.” – Lyn-Manuel Miranda

14. “The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.” – Russell Baker

15. “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality is the key to success.” – Robert Oben

16. “Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.” – Ellen DeGeneres

17. “Graduation: A ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you have learned enough to be able to read it.” – Unknown

18. “Now that you’ve graduated, just remember: Bosses don’t usually accept notes from your mother.” – Melanie White

19. “Struggling to decide what to do after graduation is, and always will be, a sort of rite of passage to the next phase of your life.” – Gloria Davidson

20. “It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o’clock.” – Woody Allen

21. “I can’t wait to hear your name horribly mispronounced at the graduation ceremony.” – Unknown

22. “So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire not to screw up, you’re on the right track.” – Ed Helms

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23. “You know that point at your graduation ceremony where everyone tosses up their caps? Isn’t it great that we all celebrate how smart we are by throwing sharp pointy objects in the air?” – Unknown

24. “The Lord gave us two ends: One to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.” – Ann Landers

25. “As you set off into the world, don’t be afraid to question your leaders. But don’t ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.” – Will Ferrell

26. “Remember, when it comes to applying for jobs, books are judged by their cover!” – Patricia Akin

27. “So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.” – Bill Watterson

28. “Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.” Arnold Schwarzenegger

29. “At graduation, you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it.” – Greg Tamblyn

30. “Your families are extremely proud of you. You can’t imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.” – Gary Bolding

31. “The fireworks begin today. Each diploma is a lighted match, each one of you is a fuse.” — Ed Koch

32. “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” — Judy Garland

33. “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing, there will be no result.” — Mahatma Ghandi

34. “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” – Nora Roberts

35. “Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

36. “Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, dream, discover.” – Mark Twain

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37. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.” -Erma Bombeck

38. “Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what’s going to happen next, and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.” -Stephen Colbert

39. “Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.” – Garry Trudeau

40. “I think sleeping was my problem in school. If a school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I’d be a college graduate today.” – George Foreman


If you are a graduate and you are reading this, then I congratulate you! I applaud you for all your hard work and your success. Now you need to really focus and make your dreams a reality. College isn’t going to be easy, but as long as you focus, laugh, and study hard you will succeed. The quotes above are to make you think, make you laugh, and offer you a little relief in all you are going through right now.

Graduation is a serious step in life. A major accomplishment for all. Some of us have a harder time getting through school than others. But no matter how easy or how hard it is (or was), you made it!! Take the summer to relax, get everything in order and create some memories with family and friends. The time you spend with the family will be limited after you drive away and head to college. You will then be very busy with your studies and making new friends. Have fun, but don’t have too much fun and lose track of your goals and your dreams.

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