The Funniest Bojack Horseman Quotes

Bojack Horseman launched on Netflix in 2014 and is one of the most popular shows on Netflix. On the surface the show appears to be a cartoon for kids, but it is really a deep show for adults that covers very intense themes including Happiness, ennui, aging, depression, sexuality and substance abuse. Bojack, the main character was a childhood star that is trying to revive his fame in Hollywood. He is having a difficult time and struggles considerably in his relationships and with substances and mood problems, especially depression.

One thing that is unique and funny about the show is that the cast of characters is a combination of human and animals. It’s quite funny but if you’re looking at your phone and not fully watching the show you might miss the nuances. In fact, there are consistent visual jokes that are very easy to miss if you’re not actually paying attention.

Bojack Horseman’s final season has brought closure to the show with some dark and tragic twists and turns. Don’t worry we won’t give them away! Overall, the show has numerous new quotes that are memorable.

Bojack Horseman Quotes

1. “You know, sometimes I feel like I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me, and now it’s all gone. And I’ll never get it back in me. It’s too late.” Mr. Peanutbutter #Todd Chavez # Diane Nyugen # princess Carolyn.

2. Settle. Because otherwise you’re just gonna get older and harder, and more alone. And you’re gonna do everything you can to fill that hole, with friends, and your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn’t get filled. One day, you’re gonna look around and you’re going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. And that is the loneliest feeling in the world.

3. I don’t understand how people… live. It’s amazing to me that people wake up every morning and say: ‘Yeah, another day, let’s do it.’ How do people do it? I don’t know how.

4. it’s important that you know i cared… you think i didn’t care because i put up walls. but i cared so much Bojack. about you, about your mother. i wanted you to respect me. i wanted you to love me. i was so afraid that you would know that.

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5. “when i was a little girl, i thought that everything—all the abuse and neglect—it somehow made me special, and i decided that one day i would write something that would make little girls like me feel less alone, and if i can’t write that book…what was it all for?” # princess Carolyn # Diane # Diane Nyugen.

6. “I understand that feeling of needing to bottle up your guilt, not burden other people with it. you think you’re protecting them from your toxicity; you convince yourself that you’re being selfless, but… it comes out in other ways and it infects everything.” Sharksinthedark.

7. It’s made up by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets. It’s like happiness or the Munich Olympics; it doesn’t exist in the real world.

8. Maybe because you’re skinny and maybe because you’re pretty, you’re used to getting away with things! But I want you to know that your actions have an effect on others, and I hate you! And you are a horrible person! And you not understanding that you’re a horrible person doesn’t make you less of a horrible person!

9. Cause I—I think the show’s actually pretty solid for what it is. It’s not Ibsen, sure—but look, for a lot of people, life is just one long, hard kick in the urethra. And sometimes, when you get home from a long day of getting kicked in the urethra, you just want to watch a show about good, likable people who love each other. Where, y’ know, no matter what happens, at the end of 30 minutes… everything’s gonna turn out okay. Y’know, because in real life… Did I already say the thing about the urethra?

10. It doesn’t matter where you are, it’s who you are, that’s not gonna change whether you’re in California or Maine or New Mexico. You know, you can’t escape you.

11. I feel like my life is just a series of unrelated wacky adventure.

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12. All I learned about being good, I learned from TV. And in TV, flawed characters are constantly showing people they care with these surprising grand gestures. And I think that part of me still believes that’s what love is.

13. I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not.

14. You sleep on my couch, and you don’t pay rent. I’ve had tapeworms that are less parasitic. I don’t even remember why I let you stay with me in the first place.

15.And I don’t believe saying that cheapens the word and actually disrespects those we mean to honor by turning real people into political pawns. Also, I am not deeply ambivalent about a seemingly mandated celebration of our military by a nation that claims to value peace telling our children that violence is never the answer while refusing to hold our own government to the same standard. Furthermore, I do not find it unbelievably appropriate that this conversation is taking place on reality television, a genre which thrives on chopping the complexities of our era into easily digestible chunks of empty catchphrases.

16. Yeah, there were exactly twelve! I ate twelve muffins, and I didn’t even want one! There’s your goddamn news story, the mystery of my missing goddamn self-respect!

17. Okay, full truth, here we go. You want to know about my parents? They drank a lot. My father was a failed novelist. My mother was the heiress to the Sugarman sugar cubes fortune, and my dad resented her for it. He used to make me cry with him while listening to Cole Porter records. He made me build my own treeouse, and then he tore it down while I was at summer camp because instead of hearty, Christian nails, I used screws, which he called fancy Jew nails. Like I said, totally normal.

18. The most important thing is, you got to give the people what they want, even if it kills you, even if it empties you out until there’s nothing left to empty. No matter what happens, no matter how much it hurts, you don’t stop dancing, and you don’t stop smiling, and you give those people what they want.

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19. But wait then how do you explain the one horse I do care about my half-sister Hollyhock, who is also a reminder of my father? If your theory is true, wouldn’t I keep her at arms’ length, desperate for her to love me but unwilling to be vulnerable enough to allow her to hurt me?

20. It’s made up by Steven Spielberg to sell movie tickets. It’s like the happiness or the Munich Olympics; it doesn’t exist in the real world.

21. Ow, crap. I hate this. Running is terrible. Everything is the worst.

22. You are a horrible person, and you not understanding that you’re a horrible person, doesn’t make you less of a horrible person.

Related: Hilarious Quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants and Johnny Bravo Quotes.


Bojack Horseman is a very very funny show. It will appeal to all age ranges but it really discusses some adult issues like substance abuse and depression.If you haven’t seen Bojack you should watch it. As of the time of this writing it is available free on Netflix.


Image Credit: Logo: Netflix, SVG: ajax404 / Public domain

See also: Pepe Le Pew – Hilarious Quotes

Bojack Horseman Trailer

Here is the original trailer. If you haven’t seen the show it will inspire you to watch it on Netflix. And if you have already seen it, it will probably make you to watch it again!

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