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46 Hilarious Beavis and Butthead Quotes

46 Hilarious Beavis and Butthead Quotes

Beavis and Butt-head is an adult animated sitcom, which has been produced by Mike judge. The origin of this series was as show called Frog Baseball that was launched in 1992 on Liquid Television. Later MTV assigned Mike Judge to turn the series into a complete series. The series became wildly successful and was on for 7 seasons from March 1993 to November 1997. This series received a lot of criticism for its juvenile humor and satirical take on society. It also had a lot of vulgar and violent scenes that caused controversy as well. Fourteen years later, in 2011, the show was revived for an 8th season which aired from October to December of 2011.

In 1996, Paramount Pictures released a feature length film to the movie theaters – Beavis and Butt-Head Do America.

Beavis and Butthead is the story of two teenage boys that essentially delinquents and couch potatoes. They often find themselves in crazy situations because they lack social skills and don’t always pick up social cues. They often lack morals or empathy. In other words, they are very representative of teenage boys!

Beavis and Butthead quotes

Beavis and Butthead have generated numerous quotes; these quotes are meant to inspire you and enhance your mood. This article will take you through Beavis and Butthead quotes to keep you motivated to achieve your life’s objectives.

1. “Shut up Butthead, we’re never gonna score, everyone here has probably scored. This old lady probably scores” -Beavis in Beavis and Butthead The Movie- Tour Bus Scene.

2. “Thank you oh great master for your wisdom, but we were wondering if you could, like, bite us.”-Butt-Head, to the homeless man whom he believes to be a werewolf.

3. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I simply cannot have students roaming the halls, disrupting other classes, and giving prophecies of a great plague! – Principal McVicker.

4. Episode 7 – Butthead talks to a scientist who has survived the apocalypse: “I see your spacesuit, like, saved you from the acopalypse–so do you wanna, like, recopulate the earth?”

5. “[watching a Violent Femmes video] I don’t understand what the big deal is about breaking up. I’d just be like “Hey baby, get lost. We can still do it and stuff, but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave,” Beavis and Butt-head.

6. “Y’know, like, this band sucks. But it’s like, they suck like, in new ways, y’know. Like, they suck in ways we haven’t, like, seen stuff suck before,” Butt-head.

7. “Everybody thinks babies are cute. Well they’re not so cute when they are yours, I’ll tell you that right now! Crapping and puking all over you! They cost a damn fortune to feed and all they do is make your life a misery, just like what you’re doing to your parents right now!” Coach Buzzcut.

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8. “Why don’t you try this experiment? Analyze the friction caused by digitally oscillating your wiener!” Daria Morgendorffer.

9. “[as Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address] When I almost scored with four chicks seven years ago, this one chick’s father brought forth upon me a prostitute. Huh-huh. Because some dudes just weren’t created equal. Huh-huh,” Butt-head.

10. “And when this “magic bullet” went into the President’s chest, it had to make a sharp turn in order to exit his body from the neck. Then it would have had to turn right, then left, and somehow have enough energy to hit the Governor in the front seat. Clearly, the assassination was a conspiracy,” Daria.

11. Episode 5 -“So what made you want to shine a light on the issue of teen obesity?” “Uhh, we wanted to get famous and score. So we, like, ate a lot of Burger World food.” -Martin a classmate asks Beavis why he’s only eating fast food for 30 days.

12. “Man I tell what, I felt like a one-legged cat try’ in to burry turd’s on a frozen pond out there,”- Tom.

13. “Yeah I know they’re medical marvels and all, but I really don’t want to change their catheters again.”-a nurse tending to a comatose Beavis and Butt-Head.

14. “Thank you oh great master for your wisdom, but we were wondering if you could, like, bite us.”-Butt-Head, to the homeless man whom he believes to be a werewolf.

15. “Hey Butt-head, I dreamed I was at school last night. Do you think that counts for attendance?”- Beavis.

16. “My list includes any girl with at least one boob” Butthead “My list is like your list, but it also includes your MOM” –Beavis.

17. “I am the Great Cornholio, I need T.P. for my bunghole” –Beavis.

18. “Thinking sucks” -Beavis “Work sucks, let’s go break something” –Butthead.

19. “If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn’t come back, you’re a dumbass.” –Butthead.

20. “We’re never gonna score! We’ll get cars and like, we’ll get jobs, and we’ll have to like, mow lawns and scrub the grill, but we’re never gonna score ever! It’s gonna suck!” Beavis.

21. “Mr. O’Brien: Alright, now I’m gonna ask you some questions. Failure to be truthful, and your responses will be interpreted as an acknowledgment of guilt. Do you understand?

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Butt-head: Uh…yeah. [detector buzzes ‘false’] Uh huh huh. Uh, I mean, no. [detector dings ‘true’] Huh huh huh.”

22. “Agent Hurley, I want you to give this scumbag a cavity search! I’m talking Roto-Rooter! Don’t stop until you reach the back of his teeth!” Agent flaming.

23. “If they like, did this chart long enough, they would find out where herpes began.” – Beavis and butthead ripping on a Jersey Shore Episode, one of the girls is going over a chart of all the people she hooked up with.

24. “Beavis, your balls are filthy. Take them to the ball washer immediately.”-Butthead.

25. President Clinton: Beavis and Butt-head, on behalf of your fellow Americans I extend my deepest thanks. You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans who will grow into the leaders of this great country.

Butt-head: Huh huh huh, he said extend!

Beavis: Oh, yeah!

26. Little Old Lady: I’m sorry, son. I got this ringin’ in my ears. My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations.

Beavis: Really? I poop too much.

Little Old Lady: Oh. Maybe you’re… lactose-intolerant.

Beavis: No, no. I POOP TOO MUCH! Then I get tired.

27. “And what about your patent disregard for Beavis! Do you not care a rat’s ass for the safety of your closest companion!?” Buzzcut.

29. “Uh, hey, baby.” “Damn we’re smooth.” “We’re gonna score” -Beavis and Butthead.

30. Beavis, you monkeyspank. -Butthead “Shut-up fart knocker!!” –Beavis.


32. Beavis, you’re gonna keep talking about loogies, and I’m gonna be too busy swinging around my gigantic schlong. – Butthead

32. “How come there aren’t any, like, women in his lair?” “They’re probably out doing his bidding.” -Beavis and Butt-Head discussing a homeless man, whom they believe to be a werewolf.

33. “Hey, Beavis. This guy’s your dad.”-Butt-Head referring to Yanni after watching one of his videos.

34. These guys remind me of Danzig and my butt. Beavis: That’s not very nice, Butt-Head. Butt-head: Yeah it is. My butt rules! -Butthead Said while watching a Type O Negative video.

35. “Shut up Beavis before I kick your ass so hard it’ll turn inside-out and come out your mouth.”-Butthead

36. (911 call while Butt-head is choking) 911 dispatcher: “Have you performed the Heimlich on him?” Beavis: “Have I licked his rectum? No, but there was this one time me and Butt-head were playing truth or dare…”

37. “Check it out Butt-head, this chicken has three boobs. How many butts does she have?”- Beavis

38. “If you love something, and you set it free, and it doesn’t come back, you’re a dumbass.” –Butthead

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39. Episode 2 – Butthead to a caller on a tech-support hotline: “Do people ever tell you sound boring on the phone? Can you like, shut up, and tell me how to get this computer to show porn?”

40. Episode 6 – “I’m gonna report this! this is a health violation!” “Yeah, the food here sucks.” -A woman complains to Burger World Employee Butt-Head after finding a rat in her order.

41. “Man I tell what, I felt like a one-legged cat try ’in to burry turds on a frozen pond out there.”- Tom.

42. “If you took an x-ray of your weiner would you see a bone?”-Beavis.

43. “Butt-head, is it normal for the inside of your bunghole to itch?”-Beavis

44. Episode 1 – Regarding a homeless man they believe to be a werewolf: “How come there aren’t any, like, women in his lair?” “They’re probably out doing his bidding.”

45. “I am the Great Cornholio! I need T.P. for by Bunghole – Bevis as Cornholio”- Butt-Head

46. “Shut up, Beavis before I kick your ass so hard it’’ll turn inside –out and come out of your mouth,” Beavis and Butt head.

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Beavis & Butthead Video – “The Great Cornholio”

Quite simply, this is one of the funniest clips from all of the seasons. When Butthead consumes too much coffee, he goes a bit insane and becomes a very hyperactive character they call “the great cornholio” who acts very odd and erratic.

This makes us crack up and literally laugh out loud…every single time!

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If you were a fan of Beavis and Butthead and you just read these quotes, we’re sure you probably are laughing or smiling right now. The juvenile humor of the show never ceases to cause laughs for children and adults alike.

If you haven’t seen the tv show lately, now is a good time to find and watch the episodes online.

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