51 of the Best Danny DeVito Quotes

Danny DeVito, also known as Daniel Michael DeVito Jr., was born November 17th 1944 in New Jersey. After graduating high school, Danny wasn’t doing much and didn’t know what to do with his life, so when his sister offered for him to work at her salon he accepted. After working at his sister’s salon for about a year and a half, he applied to a school in New York, American Academy of Dramatic Arts, to take makeup classes.

All applicants of the American Academy of Dramatic Arts were required to perform a monologue as part of their application, Danny DeVito’s monologue received great feedback so he decided to take acting classes as well. He graduated the academy in 1966 and then went on to briefly work in Connecticut at the Eugene O’Neill Theater Center, where he met and became friends with fellow actor, Michael Douglas.

DeVito moved to LA seeking acting jobs, but eventually moved back to New York to take jobs on Broadway. In 1971 he starred in ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’, a broadway production based off of Ken Kesey’s classic novel. When they went to make the film version of the Broadway production, they asked Danny to relive his role in ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ and that was when his acting career took off. Critics loved the movie and Danny Devito was put into a national spotlight.

He went on to acting in many movies such as, ‘Terms of Endearment’ (1983), ‘Twins’ (1988), ‘Batman Returns’ (1992), ‘Ruthless People’ (1986), ‘Matilda’ (1996), ‘The War of the Roses’ (1989), ‘Throw Momma from the Train’ (1987), ‘Solitary Man’ (2009), and ‘Dumbo’ (2019). Aside from the roles he has had in those films and many others, he also stars in a TV show alongside Charlie Day called ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’.

Danny Devito Quotes

  1. “I’ve been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It’s a tower, and it’s leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.” – Danny DeVito
  2. “Everybody needs money. That’s why they call it money.” – Danny DeVito
  3. “Christmas is a good excuse to eat everything.” – Danny DeVito
  4. “I am self-centred. I just adore myself.” – Danny DeVito
  5. “I don’t think I’ve been bored, ever. I’ve always been working on two or three things at a time; whether it was in the early days, or whatever, I was always working on something.” – Danny DeVito
  6. “M*sturbating Bums are bad for Business.” – Danny DeVito
  7. There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won’t stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won’t go?” – Danny DeVito
  8. “The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead.” – Danny DeVito
  9. “I have been very fortunate in my life. I have had a lot of happiness. I have a great family and I work a lot, and that’s what I like to do.” – Danny DeVito
  10. “If you’re going to have kids, there’s only one way to go. They have to know they’re the most important things in your life, and once you’re doing that, there’s no way that you could not learn from them, because they just give you stuff constantly.” – Danny DeVito
  11. “Fill me up with cream. Turn me into cannoli.” – Danny DeVito
  12. “Of course I’ve got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I’ve got em ’cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.” – Danny DeVito
  13. “The whole point of love is to put someone else’s needs above your own.” – Danny DeVito
  14. “I lay on the ground, but then I can’t reach, I don’t want to take my foot out of the tub, but I’ve got to call somebody because I’ve got to get a band-aid or something to stop the bleeding” – Danny DeVito
  15. “Most men somewhere in their psyche are still dragging women around by their hair. It’s terrible. I have two daughters, but even before my kids were born I always thought that it was terrible.” – Danny DeVito
  16. “It don’t care whether I’m good enough. It don’t care whether I snore or not. It don’t care which God I pray to. There are only three things with that kind of unconditional acceptance: Dogs, donuts, and money.” – Danny DeVito
  17. “It’s fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you’re not safe, when you’re not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.” – Danny DeVito
  18. “I don’t look ahead. I’m right here with you. It’s a good way to be.” – Danny DeVito
  19. “You have to give people permission to laugh. That’s why they would always cut to the banana peel in the Laurel and Hardy movies.” – Danny DeVito
  20. “Jersey is always with me. I was one of the lucky ones. Asbury Park is just the greatest place in the world to spend your childhood.” – Danny DeVito
  21. “When we get out of this, I’m gonna shove my fist right into your *ss, hard and fast Not in the s*xual way! In the ‘I am p*ssed off’ sort of way.” – Danny DeVito
  22. “I climbed like a billion stairs… its not like I can take them two at a time.” – Danny DeVito
  23. “America’s racist, so what do you expect.” – Danny DeVito
  24. “After you’ve lived with somebody for 11 years, what’s a guy in a robe reading from a book going to change?” – Danny DeVito
  25. “My parents worked their tails off, but we weren’t the poorest people in town. Some people I went to school with, you could tell they were dirt poor.” – Danny DeVito
  26. “I didn’t do it because of the underlying greed that’s prevailing, but it is about greed, doing the right thing at the right time using your clout when you have it and what for and what reason.” – Danny DeVito
  27. “So, you pick this stuff here and this stuff there and then you see things in certain ways and you start visualizing and thank God I get the chance to do this. It’s really the greatest thing in the whole wide world.” – Danny DeVito
  28. “I’ll tell you one thing, it’s a cruel, cruel world.” – Danny DeVito
  29. “I’ll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy’s hilarious.” – Danny DeVito
  30. “When I’m directing or producing, I like to do different kinds of stories. But you have to know what you really like, and when you do, you have to front your position.” – Danny DeVito
  31. “People come into your lives who you have a good time with, and time goes by and you still have a good time with them and you do stupid stuff with them. To me, that’s life.” – Danny DeVito
  32. “What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark things that I like to do.” – Danny DeVito
  33. “What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start.” – Danny DeVito
  34. “We did ‘Erin Brockovich’, we did ‘Man on the Moon’, we did ‘Living Out Loud’, but now I’m going to keep going.” – Danny DeVito
  35. “I love going to all kinds of movies, I screen DVDs in my house, but I go to the theatre a lot in the afternoon. I don’t get bugged because there aren’t many people around.” – Danny DeVito
  36. “We don’t even know if we’re in this room. We could be in a turtle’s dream in outer space.” – Danny DeVito
  37. “Even if one doesn’t smoke pot, one has to see the benefits of decriminalizing it.” – Danny DeVito
  38. “A lot of it revolves around food with me because a lot of my life does in a way.” – Danny DeVito
  39. “The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife.” – Danny DeVito
  40. “I didn’t do it because of the underlying greed that’s prevailing, but it is about greed, doing the right thing at the right time using your clout when you have it and what for and what reason.” – Danny DeVito
  41. “A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful the way you lean.” – Danny DeVito
  42. “I don’t know. I think it’s funny! I think it’s funny! I go, what? It’s so absurd. I’m alone.” – Danny DeVito
  43. “A bad salesman will automatically drop his price. Bad salesmen make me sick.” – Danny DeVito
  44. “Wherever I am, it’s a really good feeling to have that connection to people. I love to go out to talk to people and be with folks. I don’t shy away from it.” – Danny DeVito
  45. “It’s a first for me. It’s my first nude scene.” – Danny DeVito
  46. “The choices we make, dictate the lives we lead.” – Danny DeVito
  47. “In order for the light of gratitude and happiness to shine so brightly, the darkness of how it could be worse must be present.” – Danny DeVito
  48. “I’m always studying and I’ve been doing it for a long time now.” – Danny DeVito
  49. “I love women. I mean, I’m married, but I used to get in all kinds of trouble.” – Danny DeVito
  50. “It’s unfortunate that the entire country is a racist country.We’re living in a country that discriminates, and has certain racist tendencies.” – Danny DeVito
  51. “People would say to me, ‘Why don’t you do Broadway?’ and my big joke was, nah, the dressing rooms are too small.” – Danny DeVito
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Danny Devito Video

In this excellent video for GQ Magazine, Danny DeVito breaks down his most iconic roles, including his characters in ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,’ ‘Batman Returns,’ ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,’ ‘Taxi,’ ‘Throe Momma from the Train,’ ‘Twins,’ ‘Matilda,’ ‘Hercules,’ ‘L.A. Confidential,’ ‘Curmudgeons’ and ‘Jumanji: The Next Level.’

It’s worth a quick watch if you want to see a great visual history of all of Devito’s legendary roles – enjoy!

Also see: Lilo and Stitch Quotes


Danny DeVito is for sure a natural born actor, he realized this fact about himself back in the 1960s when he was applying to attend the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York. He has many many fans world-wide and is a well known and loved actor and co-star. Most of his roles are comedy roles, so obviously some of his quotes are going to be comical.

Send quotes to fellow Danny DeVito fans, say some of these quotes as you watch one of the many movies he has starred in, or just use one of his quotes to prove your Danny DeVito fan status on social media.

Related:  The Best Quotes from Kenny Powers

Image Credit: Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons


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