Snooki Quotes

Snooki Quotes

If you still remember when MTV was popular, one of their best shows ever was Jersey Shore which ran from 2009 to 2012. If you watched MTV during those years, Jersey Shore was on every day and often for many hours. Nicole Polizzi – better known as “Snooki” –  was one of the most well known characters on the show. She was a brash, bold, outrageous young woman who liked to party and have a good time. During many a drunken outings, Snooki provided endless entertainment. Often she was drinking a considerable amount and saying things that did not quite make sense or were confusing.

Snooki was born in Santiago Chile and raised by Italian parents in upstate New York. Snooki is 4 feet, 9 inches tall and the true definition of a pint sized princess. She also liked to be tan at all times and wear crazy, attention getting outfit.

After the end of the Jersey Shore era, MTV brought the show back for a Family Reunion. The show was basically a follow up “where are they now?” kind of show that explored how the cast had changed over time. It was full of good moments but nothing can compare to the original show.

The Funniest Snooki Quotes

  1. “He’s got to be Italian because the last name needs to have a vowel in it, and I want my kid’s last name to have a vowel in it.” Nicole Polizzi
  2. “The fact that I can reproduce is very scary.” Nicole Polizzi
  3. “UTI doesn’t stand for Ultimate Tanning Institute.” Nicole Polizzi
  4. “It’s hard for people to see you one way, but you’re really the other way, so it’s kind of like, ‘Who am I, who are you?’ Sometimes, I confuse even myself. Nicole Polizzi
  5. “Ten years from now, I would like to see myself successful as a brand, like Jessica Simpson, with babies running around and a beautiful husband and my own reality show.” Nicole Polizzi
  6. “We all stick up for ourselves and I think that’s why we stand out, because we really don’t care what other people think.” Nicole Polizzi
  7. I think the biggest misconception about me is people really don’t know who I really am. They see the party side of me, they see the crazy side of me. But I also have a laid-back side. You know, I’m chill, down to earth. If you want to grab a cup of coffee and just talk about life, I can do that. Nicole Polizzi
  8. Be sure of yourself, don’t let anyone bully you, be a strong and independent woman or boy. Nicole Polizzi
  9. Just want to set the record straight. I’m single and I’m not going to get married! Nicole Polizzi
  10. “I’m heartbroken so let me dance.”  Nicole Polizzi
  11. “I don’t know how to read the map because I need glasses.”  Nicole Polizzi
  12. “Everybody Google it because that’s why the water is salty.”  Nicole Polizzi
  13. “You can call me burnt toast, Oompa Loompa, orange freak as long as I know that I’m tan.”  Nicole Polizzi
  14. “I look over and see like hair being pulled and all this sh*t, I’m like oh my god, how do I get in?”
  15. Don’t let negativity affect your vision. A lot of people have said harsh things, but I don’t let it affect me. If anything it gives me more enthusiasm and pushes me to do better in my career so I can prove them wrong. Nicole Polizzi
  16. I always wanted my own fragrance because I could never find the right scent for me. At home, I would always mix bottles of my favorite fragrances to create a unique and different scent. Nicole Polizzi
  17. Study hard, but party harder. Nicole Polizzi
  18. I got bullied in high school. A lot of girls were so mean to me because their boyfriends wanted to hang out with me and my girls, so they pretty much bullied me to the point where I was crying at night. Nicole Polizzi
  19. You’re going to have haters and you’re going to have lovers. Nicole Polizzi
  20. I don’t have regrets, there are only lessons. You learn from them, and you become a better person. Nicole Polizzi
  21. I’m trying to build an empire, because after this, I cannot get a normal job. Nicole Polizzi
  22. I don’t go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning. Because he’s pale and would probably want to be tan. Nicole Polizzi
  23. We can’t have cellphones, TV, radio or the Internet. If the president died, we’d have no idea. There’s no normalcy. It’s just like prison, with cameras. Nicole Polizzi
  24. “No one knows that I’m smart.” Nicole Polizzi
  25. “The only person I’ve had sex with on Jersey Shore is my boyfriend.” Nicole Polizzi
  26. “I’ll always be this crazy, fun person, but when it’s time to get married, I’m going to be an amazing wife.” Nicole Polizzi
  27. “Is there a moon in this country?” Nicole Polizzi
  28. “When people function this early in the morning, this isn’t real life to me. I feel like it’s a video game.” Nicole Polizzi
  29. “Wasteypants” Nicole Polizzi
  30. “Where’s the beach?” Nicole Polizzi
  31. “I don’t eat friggin’ lobster or anything like that because they’re alive when you kill it, like, that’s disgusting.” Nicole Polizzi
  32. “After I run for president… the economy would rise, everyone would be tan, and all the radios would play house music.”  Nicole Polizzi
  33. “Tofu. I thought that was like touché.”  Nicole Polizzi
  34. “I have no idea how to speak clock language.”  Nicole Polizzi
  35. “I feel like a pilgrim from the frickin’ ’20s.”  Nicole Polizzi
  36. “I feel like that’s why the lesbian rate is going up in this country.” Nicole Polizzi
  37. “Every time I get excited I have to poop.” Nicole Polizzi
  38. “I will f***ing attack you like a squirrel monkey.” Nicole Polizzi
  39. “Get it all out, freakin’ do every sin that you can.” Nicole Polizzi
  40. “Some exfoliates have rocks in them and it makes your skin really smooth, and cat litter is a good substitute. I haven’t broke out at all yet!” Nicole Polizzi
  41. “You have to remember that reality shows capture your worst moments.” Nicole Polizzi
  42. “It’s important to be true to yourself and your vision.”  Nicole Polizzi
  43. I think you see more of like, the party side of me, which I call Snooki, it’s kind of my alter ego. Nicole Polizzi
  44. It’s always been a dream to have my own sunglass line and I’m so excited to be able to finally offer it to my fans! Nicole Polizzi
  45. I definitely want to get in shape and be healthy again. Nicole Polizzi
  46. When you’re tan, you feel better about yourself. Nicole Polizzi
  47. Donald Trump, I would vote for him. Trump would make this country better I feel. Nicole Polizzi
  48. I like a guy who makes me laugh, doesn’t care about the fame, the show, he just likes me for me, he likes Nicole. Nicole Polizzi
  49. If I do something stupid, which is pretty much the whole time, I hate it. I just hate it. Nicole Polizzi It sucks, but no Long Islands or margaritas when you drink. It has to be straight vodka. Nicole Polizzi
  50. When you’re tanner, you feel hotter and sexier. You should try it.Nicole Polizzi
  51. As I graduated high school, it didn’t faze me anymore. Right now, I don’t even care what people think of me. I’m happy with myself. Nicole Polizzi
  52. So I would always try and be the lightest I could. In high school, I really wouldn’t eat. I would only have lunch and I would only have salads. And then it got so crazy as to just eating like a cracker or a cucumber a day and I would feel full. Nicole Polizzi
  53. “I think I just realized that having a problem – an eating disorder – it’s not healthy and you can actually die from that. I realized it’s not worth it and you just need to be healthy.” Nicole Polizzi
  54. “People go tanning because they like to feel tan. You feel more sexy when you’re tan and I don’t understand why you would tax on that, because you’re making yourself feel more happy about yourself.” Nicole Polizzi
  55. “But it’s really hard to eat good when you’re traveling because you see fast food and you want to go to this restaurant and that restaurant. Nicole Polizzi
  56. I think I want to move forward. I want to move to Brooklyn and find a business Italian guy to take care of me. Nicole Polizzi
  57. I went to school, I went to college. I know how to read. Even though I lack common sense sometimes, I am book smart. Nicole Polizzi
  58. I try and have family time, all the time, so you know, I get to see them a lot. And I’m always with my friends, my boyfriend, it helps me keep grounded and kind of sane. Nicole Polizzi
  59. I’ve calmed down already. I don’t hook up anymore. Nicole Polizzi
  60. I have an education, I went to college, you know? Nicole Polizzi
  61. The guys you see me bring home, we’re only cuddling and making out like any other person would do, but we’re on camera and the whole world’s seeing it, and it does look like I’m having sex. Nicole Polizzi
  62. What I’d like is to turn out like Jessica Simpson, with her whole brand. Nicole Polizzi
  63. “I don’t read. I don’t like to read ‘Harry Potter’ or anything like that. It’s not my style.” Nicole Polizzi
  64. “I don’t hate you, I Just don’t want to be friends with you.” Nicole Polizzi
  65. “But yet, like, veterinarian, like that’s my soul.” Nicole Polizzi
  66. “I don’t go tanning, tanning anymore. Because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. And I feel like he did that intentionally for us. McCain would never put a tax on tanning because he’s pale, so he’d probably want to be tan.” Nicole Polizzi
  67. “I’m not trashy unless I drink too much.” Nicole Polizzi

Related: Snooki’s favorite sidekick was Jwoww – be sure to see our collection of Jwoww Quotes too!

Video: Snooki’s Wildest Party Scenes and Most Hilarious TV Moments

Okay we don’t really need to tell you to watch this clip, do we? If you love Snooki and appreciate her TV persona, you will love this video. It’s a summary of her BEST moments on Jersey Shore – enjoy!

Snooki’s best friend on Jersey shore was Jwoww – see our collection of Jwoww Quotes 

Image Credit: “Snooki and Pauly D – MMVAs 2010” by TonyFelgueiras is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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