35 of the Funniest Nacho Libre Quotes

Ever since the movie Nacho Libre came out in June 2006, it has inspired many laughs with its quotable script and hilarious acting. Nacho Libre stars Jack Black and Hector Jimenez as two aspiring wrestlers hoping to be luchadors and become famous and wealthy.

Ignacio (Jack Black), also known as Nacho to his friends, is a monk who has always dreamed of becoming a luchador and has resisted the simple ways of a monk and cook his whole life. When he catches Steven (Hector Jimenez) stealing the chips intended for the monastery’s orphans, he teams up with him to raise money for the orphans. However, Nacho must hide his fights and his dreams while managing his duties at the monastery and to the orphans.

As silly as the plot for Nacho Libre seems, it is loosely based on the real-life story of Catholic priest Reverend Sergio Gutiérrez Benítez. As Fray Tormenta (or Friar Storm in English), Benitez had a 23-year long career as a luchador that supported the orphans he cared for.

Benitez was himself inspired to become a luchador from two old Mexican films featuring masked luchador priests fighting to support poor orphans. Nacho Libre is not the first film made based on his story either.

French filmmakers created The Man in the Golden Mask in 1991 which is also loosely based on his story as a fighting priest.

However, unlike the other movies created, this version of the tale in Nacho Libre is a comedic rage that has left audiences asking for more for many years. Whether it’s the comedic timing or the hilarious acting of Jack Black, some of these one-liners get me rolling!

Nacho Libre Quotes

Here is a look at some of the funniest quotes and dialogues in Nacho Libre:

1. “Beneath the clothes, we find a man… and beneath the man we find his… nucleus.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
2. “You are useless Ignacio! Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?”– Senor Ramon
3. “I don’t believe in God. I believe in Science.”– Steven (Eskeleto)
4. Nacho: “I’m not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That’s probably why we never win.” Eskeleto: “We never win because you are fat!”
5. “Me? No. Come on. Don’t be crazy. I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the free creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning at 5am and make some soup! It’s the best. I love it. I get to sleep alone in my bed every night for the rest of my life. It’s fantastic! Go. Go away! Read some books.”– Ignacio (Nacho)

6. ” I think me and my friend are ready to go prooo!”– Steven (Eskeleto)
7. “Chancho, when you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
8. Nacho: “I’m a little concerned right now. About your salvation and stuff. How come you have not been baptized?” Eskeleto: “Because I never got around to it, okay?” [Nacho shrugs, picks up a bowl, and walks to the sink to fill the bowl with water.] Eskeleto: “I don’t know why you always have to be judging me, because I only believe in science.” Nacho: [walks over to Eskeleto with the bowl filled with water doing Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Sign.] “But tonight, we’re going up against Satan’s Cavemen and I thought it would be a good idea if you…” [stands next to Eskeleto and pushes his head in the bowl which comes back up quickly] …”PRAISE THE LORD! Felicitates.”
9. “I hate all the orphans in the whole world!”– Steven (Eskeleto)
10. “When the fantasy has ended, and all the children are gone. Something good inside of me, helps me to carry on. I ate some bugs, I ate some grass. I used my hand, to wipe my tears. To kiss your mouth, I’d break my vow. No, no, no, no, no, no, way Jose. Unless you want to then, we break our vows together! Encarnaciòn! Encarnaciòn!” –Ignacio (Nacho)
11. “You gave them permission to hurt me like this.”– Steven (Eskeleto)
12. “Get that corn outta my face!”– Ignacio (Nacho)
13. “This man lived a good life. He had a wonderful woman, a lush garden,…and a collection of Russian nesting dolls. May he rest in peace.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
14. Eskeleto: “Oooh.” Lady: “I forgive you. Come here, soldier.” Eskeleto: “How did you get up here so fast?” Lady: “Shhh. Secret tunnels. Some people say wrestlers make bad lovers, that they save themselves for the ring.” [whispers] “I love you.” Eskeleto: “Huh?” Lady: “I love you!”
15. “They don’t think I know a butt load of crap about the Gospel. But I dooo! Okay?”– Ignacio (Nacho)
16. “I don’t know why you always have to be judging me, just because I only believe in science.”– Steven (Eskeleto)
17. Boy: “How come we can’t ever have just, like, a salad?” Nacho: “Be grateful, Juan Pablo. Today is especially delicious.”
18. “Okay. Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy… duty. Maybe it’s time for me to get a better duty!”– Ignacio (Nacho)

19. “Do you remember that one time when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse?”– Ignacio (Nacho)
20. Sister Encarnación: “Where are we going, Ignacio?” Nacho: “I saw a bum here, there were two bums actually. And I said to myself, “Let’s talk to these guys about the Gospel.” Sister Encarnación: “Well, where are they?” [Nacho looks around.] Nacho: “I don’t see them. They should be coming back.” [leans against the wall and whips head fast] Sister Encarnación: “Where is your robe, Ignacio?” Nacho: “It was… stinky. But these are my recreation clothes.” [tightens butt] Sister Encarnación: “They look expensive.” Nacho: “Thank you…” [turns toward Sister Encarnación] “I mean, yes! They may have the appearance of riches.” [kneels down] “But beneath the clothes, we find a man. And beneath the man, we find his… nucleus.” Sister Encarnación: “Nucleus?” Nacho: “Yes.”
21. “Don’t you want a little taste of the glory? See what it tastes like?”– Ignacio (Nacho)
22. “Dear Lord, please bless Nacho with nutrients and strength. Amen.”– Steven (Eskeleto)
23. “I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice pile-drive to the face; or a punch to the face; but you cannot do it because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
24. “I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny and I will have my glory day in the hot sun.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
25. “You are crasssssy!”– Ignacio (Nacho)
26. “Tonight, I will fight the seven strongest men in town, maybe the world. And I will win because our heavenly father will be in the ring with me. And he and I will win 10,000 pesos.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
27. “I don’t want to get paid to lose. I wanna win!”– Ignacio (Nacho)
28. Nacho: [after his robe catches fire and reveals his stretchy pants] “Yes! It’s true. I am Nacho, the luchador.” Monk: “Who?” Nacho: “Maybe you have seen me on TV.” [pause] “NACHOOOOOOOOOO!” Elderly Monk: “No! This is forbidden!” Guillermo: “I knew it. He is not a man of God.”
29. “So anyways, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
30. “I need professional help. I need Ramses!. He’s the best. I must learn his waaaays.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
31. Sister Encarnación: “Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favorite animal is puppies. I like serving the Lord, hiking, playing volleyball…” Nacho: “You gotta be kidding me right now! Everything you said is my favorite thing to do. Every day.”
32. “Orphans, smile and be happy, for God has blessed us with a new teacher. She hails from the Oaxaca Parish Convent of the Immaculate Hearts. Sisters, ladies, mountains of Guadalupe — Sister Encarnaciòn.”– Guillermo
33. “They give me no eagle powers! They give me no nutrients.”– Ignacio (Nacho)
34. Nacho: It sucks to be me right now! Eskeleto: How come?Nacho: How come you think? I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him! But it turns out, he’s a real douche.
35. Nacho: “I thought you hated all the orphans in the whole world?” Eskeleto: “Not anymore…I like them!”

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Nacho Libre Video – The Best of Nacho Libre

Here’s a great short clip of the best scenes from the movie. If you haven’t seen the movie, this will make you laugh and probably inspire you to watch the movie this week. Or if you have already seen it, this clip will take you back down memory lane. Enjoy!

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Conclusion

As funny as Nacho Libre is, it ends on a soft note with Ignacio (Nacho) fulfilling his dreams. Ignacio defeats Ramses in the final Lucha libre fight and wins the tournament.

We see he indeed buys the orphans a bus with his winnings and takes a trip with them and Sister Encarnación. It is pleasant to find such an uplifting and positive message underneath this film known for its comedic genius.

As he struggles with selfish desires throughout the film, Ignacio finds that standing up for your dreams and good things is always the right thing to do. Share your favorite quote from the movie to lighten someone’s day. “NACHOOOOOOOOOO!”

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