64 of the Funniest Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

‘Napoleon Dynamite’ was released in 2004, and remains a favorite film for many people. The movie starred Efren Ramirez (Pedro), Haylie Duff (Summer), Tina Majorino (Deb), Aaron Ruell (Kip), Jon Gries (Uncle Rico), and Jon Heder as Napoleon Dynamite. ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ was nominated for 22 awards, and won ten of them.

The film is based on an outsider boy, Napoleon, who befriends the new kid, Pedro, and together they decide Pedro is going to run for class president. There are a bunch of hilarious moments as the best friend duo has their struggles and heartwarming best friend moments. The film not only features a high school election but also Napoleon’s famous dancing, and even the wedding of his brother, Kip, and the woman he had met online, Lafawnduh.

People from all over the world keep travelling to Idaho to tour the settings from the movie, such as Pedro’s house, and Preston High School. The small town used to hold a Napoleon Dynamite Festival, but the last festival that was done was in 2008. Another fun fact about the movie is that Jon Heder got a perm the night before shooting, but his curls ended up looking like Shirley Temple’s so they fixed it by redoing the perm but he wasn’t allowed to wash his hair for three weeks.

Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

  1. “I see your drinking 1%. Does that mean you think you’re fat? Cause you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  2. “Whatever I feel like I wanna do! Gosh!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  3. “Too bad, she said she doesn’t want you here when she gets back because you’ve been ruining everybody’s lives and eating all our steak.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  4. “Tina, come get some ham.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  5. “[Feeding the llama scoops of casserole over the fence] Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!… Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  6. “(takes a bottle of Gatorade from the refrigerator and stops short) Who are you?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  7. “Is there anyone else here? I’m trying to save money for college.” – Deb
  8. “What can I have for dinner? Kip ate the last frozen dinner!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  9. “Hey Napoleon, what did you do all last summer again?” – Don
  10. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, Napoleon.” – Uncle Rico
  11. “Last week, Japanese scientists explaced… placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  12. “I caught you a delicious bass.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  13. “I’m really busy right now. [looks at cheese he grated on nachos]” – Kip
  14. “You know, like nunchuck skills, bo hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only like guys who have great skills.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  15. “Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five or six in her drawer.” – Kip
  16. “No, I’m freakin’ starving! I didn’t get to eat anything today.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  17. “It’s a free country. I can do whatever I want.” – Uncle Rico
  18. “Yes, like 50 of ’em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  19. “But my lips hurt real bad!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  20. “Why would I want to buy any of this girly crap?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  21. “Stay home and eat all the freakin chips Kip!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  22. “Dang! You got shocks, pegs lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  23. “I said come down here and see what happens if you try and hit me.” – Kip
  24. “Napoleon, you know we can’t afford the fun pack. What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you’re at it.” – Uncle Rico
  25. “Did you shoot any?” – Don
  26. “I’m not gonna use hers, you sicko!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  27. “Kip bring me my Chapstick!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  28. “I’m gonna tell you somethin’ right now. While you’re out there playing patty cake with your friend Pedro, your Uncle Rico is makin’ 120 bucks.” – Uncle Rico
  29. “The worst day of my life! What do you think?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  30. “Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I’d take state.” – Uncle Rico
  31. “What kind of gun did you use?” – Don
  32. “I could make that much money in five seconds!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  33. “It’s a Sledgehammer.” – Pedro
  34. “Gosh.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  35. “Back in ’82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile.” – Uncle Rico
  36. “Napoleon, it looks like you don’t have a job. So why don’t you get out there and feed Tina?” – Uncle Rico
  37. “At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you’re gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?” – Rex
  38. “A freakin’ 12-gauge, what do you think?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  39. “How long did it take you to grow that mustache?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  40. “Well, you have a sweet bike. And you’re really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you’re like the only guy at school who has a mustache.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  41. “Is that what you’re trying to do. Ruin my life and make me look like a freakin’ idiot!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  42. “I’m dead serious.” – Uncle Rico
  43. “Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!” – Rex
  44. “Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin’ pretty serious.” – Kip
  45. “Well, what is there to eat?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  46. “Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  47. “How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?” – Uncle Rico
  48. “LaFawnduh is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m 100% positive she’s my soul mate. Don’t worry Napoleon, I’m sure there’s a babe out there for you too. Peace out.” – Kip
  49. “Well, if coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would’ve been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.” – Uncle Rico
  50. “I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  51. “I’ll go get it. [Slaps Kip in the face while he’s not looking]” – Napoleon Dynamite
  52. “My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn’t cause she’s doing some modeling right now.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  53. “Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I’m training to be a cage fighter.” – Kip
  54. “I’d have gone pro in a heartbeat. I’d be making millions of dollars and living in a big ol’ mansion somewhere, soaking it up in a hot tub with my soul mate.” – Uncle Rico
  55. “You know, there’s like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bo staff.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  56. “And here we have some boondoggle key chains. A must-have for this season’s fashion.” – Deb
  57. “I already made, like, infinity of those at scout camp.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  58. “D*mmit napoleon make yourself a dang quesadilla!” – Grandma
  59. “’Cause I didn’t have a freakin’ choice. All the other sweet clubs were filled up. Gosh!” – Napoleon Dynamite
  60. “It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed … bred for its skills in magic.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  61. “Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can’t fit my numchucks in there anymore.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  62. “Sorry I’m late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.” – Napoleon Dynamite
  63. “So me and you are pretty much friends by now, right?” – Napoleon Dynamite
  64. “Like what are my skills?” – Pedro
Read ->  Top Sid the Sloth Quotes That Will Make You Snort with Laughter

Related: Funniest Quotes and Lines from Happy Gilmore

Napoleon Dynamite Video – Rex Kwan Do Demo

This hilarious clip from the martial arts dojo summarizes the whole comedic tone of the movie.

Give it a watch – it will make you laugh. And you will probably want to watch the movie again this week!

Video: 2016 Napoleon Dynamite Commercial for Burger King

In 2016, Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder) and Pedro (Efren Ramirez) reunited to film a commercial for Burger King and their cheesy tots. Playing the part as Deb was Tina Majorino’s first time acting in a comedy film. When Lafawnduh and Kip got married in ‘Napoleon Dynamite’, the actress that plays Lafawnduh, Shondrella Avery, was asked to have her actual family fly out to be in the wedding scene.

Related: Tropic Thunder Quotes


‘Napoleon Dynamite’ is for sure a fan favorite, many people already quote the incredibly popular movie. The character Napoleon always sort of goes for it and sometimes fails but at least he tries.

Pedro and Napoleon’s friendship is hilarious and cute, but the bromance that they have is inspiring to best friends everywhere. Send some of these quotes to your best friend, your friends, or family members. You can also use some of these ‘Napoleon Dynamite’ quotes to make some awesome memes.

Related: Most Hilarious Joe Dirt Quotes 

Image Credit: Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons’


Leave a Comment