40 Inspiring and Witty Scott Adams Quotes You Will Love

Scott Adams is one of this era’s best cartoonists and satirists, famous for his witty remarks in his comic series Dilbert. The comic Dilbert became increasingly trendy in the 1990s when there was large-scale downsizing across different corporate sectors of America.

Scott Adams is an American author who gained national popularity due to his commentary and acute opinions regarding business and politics. His insightful yet sardonic opinions became known worldwide, and he became an iconic cartoonist of international fame.

An interesting fact about Scott Adams is that he worked in various corporate roles before becoming a full-time cartoonist. This is why readers of his comics will notice that his work features the psychological and social aspects of the American corporate landscape with a sarcastic yet perceptive insight.

Although Scott Adams rose to fame in the 1990s, he is still active on social media and interacts with fans regarding various political and cultural topics. He also conducts regular live shows on YouTube, a part of a Real Coffee with Scott Adams series.

To help you smile at his wit and learn incredible insights about working in the corporate world, we have compiled the following Scott Adams quotes for you.

Here Are Some of the Most Amazing Scott Adams Quotes

1. “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” ― Scott Adams

2. “The best you can hope for in a relationship is to find someone whose flaws are the sort you don’t mind. It is futile to look for someone who has no flaws, or someone who is capable of significant change; that sort of person exists only in our imaginations.” ― Scott Adams, God’s Debris: A Thought Experiment

3. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” ― Scott Adams

4. “You’re thinking I’m one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I’m not. I say it’s a free country, and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.” ― Scott Adams

5. “I love you like a fat kid loves cake!” ― Scott Adams

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6. “If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” ― Scott Adams

7. “Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching.” ― Scott Adams, Dogbert’s Motto

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8. “Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.” ― Scott Adams

Scott Adams shaking hands with a man
9. “The source of all unhappiness is other people. As soon as you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy.” ― Scott Adams, Wally’s Keynote Speech

10. “Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.” ― Scott Adams

11. “Remember, there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple effect with no logical end.” ― Scott Adams

12. “The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.” ― Scott Adams

13. “There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the proper application of fonts and color.” ― Scott Adams, Dilbert’s Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

14. “When life gives you lemons… choke on them and die… you stupid lemon eater.” ― Scott Adams

15. “The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to truth.” ― Scott Adams, God’s Debris: A Thought Experiment

16. “Always remember that as long as other people are gullible, there’s no limit to what you can achieve.” ― Scott Adams, Dilbert’s Guide to the Rest of Your Life: Dispatches from Cubicleland

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17. “Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.” ― Scott Adams

18. “Intelligence is a measure of how well you function within your level of awareness.” ― Scott Adams, God’s Debris: A Thought Experiment

19. “If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea, it has extraordinary power.” ― Scott Adams, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

20. “I have infinite capacity to do more work as long as you don’t mind that my quality approaches zero.” ― Scott Adams

Scott Adams giving a talk in front of a large live audience
21. “I get mail; therefore I am.” ― Scott Adams

22. “Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.” ― Scott Adams

23. “The best things in life are silly.” ― Scott Adams

24. “If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you’ll be exhausted, and the nuts will still be nuts.” ― Scott Adams, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

25. “The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.” ― Scott Adams

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26. “Positivity is far more than a mental preference. It changes your brain, literally, and it changes the people around you. It’s the nearest thing we have to magic.” ― Scott Adams, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

27. “Free will is an illusion. Humans are nothing but moist robots.” ― Scott Adams

28. “I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.” ― Scott Adams

29. “Have you ever noticed that things that don’t kill you make you weaker? And great minds don’t think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions. I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk, and the cashier took it off my bill.” ― Scott Adams, Wally

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30. “A woman needs to be told that you would sacrifice anything for her. A man needs to be told he is being useful. When the man or woman strays from that formula, the other loses trust. When trust is lost, communication falls apart.” ― Scott Adams, God’s Debris: A Thought Experiment

31. “How can one part be more important if each part is completely necessary?” ― Scott Adams, God’s Debris: A Thought Experiment

Scott Adams on stage
32. “Awareness is about unlearning. It is the recognition that you don’t know as much as you thought you knew.” ― Scott Adams, God’s Debris: A Thought Experiment

33. “The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.” ― Scott Adams

34. “Sometimes what seems to be a difference in opinions is, in fact, just a difference in definitions.” ― Scott Adams, The Religion War

35. “It is a human tendency to become what you attack.” ― Scott Adams, God’s Debris: A Thought Experiment

36. “Pessimism is often a failure of imagination.” ― Scott Adams, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

37. “It is a wondrous human characteristic to be able to slip into and out of idiocy many times a day without noticing the change or accidentally killing innocent bystanders in the process.” ― Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle’s-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions

38. “Recapping my skill set: I have poor art skills, mediocre business skills, good but not great writing talent, and an early knowledge of the Internet. And I have a good but not great sense of humor. I’m like one big mediocre soup. None of my skills are world-class, but when my mediocre skills are combined, they become a powerful market force.” ― Scott Adams, How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life

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39. “Our system requires a continuous supply of highly capable people who are so disgruntled with their jobs that they are willing to chew off their own arms to escape their bosses.” ― Scott Adams

40. “Common sense isn’t a real thing. And its ugly cousin, fairness, is a concept invented so dumb people could participate in arguments.” ― Scott Adams

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Scott Adams is the creator of Dilbert, which has over 70 million books and products in print. He is also a prolific podcaster who uses his training as a hypnotist and lifelong student of persuasion to analyze current events through the lens of persuasion. Online, Scott Adams is renowned for his provocative discussions about politics, censorship, and media bias.


Scott Adams is a popular cartoonist and satirist who often shares sarcastic and insightful opinions online regarding politics and the corporate sector. He first started trending in the 1990s when his comic called Dilbert received worldwide acclaim for its correct yet comical description of corporate life.

Even though much of the American public recognizes him as the creator of Dilbert, he is developing a new identity for himself online as an analyst of current social and political issues with his live series called ‘Real Coffee with Scott Adams’.

If you would like to read quotes from other notable personalities, click on any of the links below.

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Image Credits:

Scott Adams” by David Kelly is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Scott Adams” by teezeh is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

Scott Adams and Jay” by Greyhawk68 is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

Scott Adams closing keynote” by Tricia@cheeky attitude is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

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